hey fixie

friday night, before the duke city classic rears its ugly head, another adventure calls for your attention.

behold, critical mass. bring your bike, bring a friend, to the unm duckpond at 5 or so. we usually roll out around 6ish.

but wait…there’s more.

after the conclusion of critical mass, enjoy a luxuriant cruise down to the asshole castle (1016 coal sw) where you will be pampered by the sounds of grand canyon at their long awaited cassette tape release party. tapes will be available for purchase…hop over to the flea market to get something to play it on. the party kicks off @ 9pm.

it’s almost here. duke city classic sucka. let the games begin.

from cranks505…”The Duke City Classic kicks off this weekend with the Regional Bike Polo Tournament, featuring teams from all over the Southwest – NM, AZ, TX, CO, even CA! If you’re not playing, come kick it courtside and cheer on the action. It’s always more fun with a crowd and there just might be giveaways for spectators. The Railrunner departs downtown ABQ at 9:30, 11:30, and 2:30. We will all be riding the 6:30 train back from Santa Fe. There are directions to Herb Martinez Park here. Bring booze, food, etc. This is a public park so we want to be discreet with our drinking – brown bags, novelty coozies, flasks, nalgene bottles, etc. Come spend the weekend in Santa Fe with us – the last time we rolled north it was drunk madness and fun times all around…”

this friday. the fixed and furious is back for your soul. this will be another sprint semifinal in preparation for the championship blowout on the 9th of april.

if you missed last months’ race, fret not. you can still qualify to be the fastest dude or dudette on 2 wheels and 1 gear. go to odelia + commercial (also known as the end of indian school west of broadway). 7pmish. races begin @ 8.

so i missed the santa fe century last year, but not this time. it’s on may 16th this year and i’m gonna ride that ish. am i gonna ride it fixed? not without changing my gear ratio (currently 52×16, maybe 52×18). can it be done on a fixed gear? yes, it can. i did the 100 mile ride on just 2 gears (42×18 and 42×15) and it wasn’t too bad…other than heartbreak hill (i had to stop 3 times, but i didn’t have to walk it, and i’m old/fat). the best part is that it only costs $20 to do the 100 miles or $13 to do the 25, 50, 75 miles. the ride is well supported and they provide decent grub @ all the stops. plus, i’m pretty sure you can buy beer (meth and heroin) in madrid.

of course undertaking this adventure on a fixie will call down all the spandex covered scorn you could ever want. when i rode it in 2008 there were 2500+ riders (only 1 fixed and 4 or 5 singlespeeds), all wearing clothes that cost more than my bike. but fuck those guys. anybody can go far with triple chainrings and an 11-32 cassette. you will be the truly manly…with just one option…finish or quit. there won’t be any cheering crowds at the finish. no prizes for first, or last. sore muscles, chapped lips and sunburn will be your only friends.

but if you finish, the water bottle you were given at the start will be as meaningful as olympic gold.

santafecentury.com

i was checking the urban velo site the other day and saw this choice bike accessory. ground up designs (makers of custom frames) brought this badass to the nahbs show this year. a couple of pumps on the shock pump, one push of a button, and pow…the guy in spandex that was drafting you is instantly melted to his frame.

somehow i think this can be related to the question, ‘why is it so hard to fart on a fixie?’

this technonlogical advance it sure to replace the greasy burrito and the wd40/lighter combo.

it’s that time of the month again. no. not that time…and she’s not invited anyway. it’s poker ride time.

saturday night. meet @ gecko’s at 830, jubilation liquors around 850, or hidden/mcduffie park at 900. bring booze or buy it there. pay to play or ride to drink…the choice is yours. matt b will be the grand master of this weekend’s misguided adventure. then nurse that hangover @ cinema velo. perfect!

chrome, the maker of fine messenger bags and such, are giving away free shoes in exchange for your old-ass crusty kicks. one catch…you have to mail them out by today (postmarked 3.18.10). 

Please ship all packages to:
Chrome Industries
Attn: Turds for Gold/Sharkey
580 4th Street
San Francisco, CA 94107

this sunday, in the hell known as the fixed and free, they’ll be playing ‘a sunday in hell’…a danish documantary about a french race. i don’t know what language they’ll be speaking but it’s sure to be a good time. show up @ 730, the movie starts at 8.

it’s a coop not a co-op.

the bike coop is a bike shop’s bike shop, not a lame-ass showroom of chinese junk bikes. one of those places where the old guy buying tubes (or tubulars) in front of you could very well be some sort of tour de francey, olympicesque individual. they’ve been open forever, and been in the same location for 25ish(?) years. greg, the owner, is a great, but quiet guy.

one of the cool things about the coop is that you can find their labor prices on their website. hell, they have a website. not only that, but they’re open on monday (why other shops are closed on monday still puzzles me), they keep buried treasure in the basement, have a good rotating selection of new and used bikes, and they have a monopoly on employees named matt…i think they’re all named matt.

the coop is located @ 3407 central across from starsucks coffee in nob hill. bikecoop.com

april 17th, @ 6915 montgomery ne, sports systems, 10am, saturday, be there!

but if you want anything good…be there early!

but if you really want anything good…volunteer!

speaking of volunteering…let me tell you about the horrible douchebaggery that went on @ last years bike swap. i showed up early, hours early. i was like 9th in line or some shit. i was feeling good about getting something nice. standing in line with homie orin, we were able to take turns scoping things out…never guessing it was all for naught. orin saw this badass maruishi, full ultegra etc., pink, $100…. i saw a few select cuts myself.

quite a few minutes after ten the gates opened and the stampede began. but not before…

…the freaking douche volunteers came out and started carting away our fucking dreams!!!

why they didn’t let them have first choice while the bikes were still hidden from our view puzzled, no, pissed off every one of us that stood there watching and waiting.

i thought of volunteering this year, but then i thought again. i don’t want to be the focus of scorn and disdain like last years crew. but, if you don’t mind the possibility of getting jacked by the guy who shows up at 7am, then contact martha@bikeabq.org to volunteer.

and if you see me standing outside the fence waiting…just know that i hate you.