skunk-crusher natalie won the last poker ride…now it’s her turn to confound the drunken mass. be there. saturday night @ 9pm. bring a scarf or die.
Archive for November, 2010
we sat on the cool grass waiting for the others to arrive as the sun was crawling away from me and my single layer (ride hard or freeze). i had no idea where we were going, or what the night had in store…other than impending hypothermia. after some chat with the other riders, we crossed the street and positioned our bikes for the start.
…and they’re off! 4 of us headed north through the campus, past the duckpond, and towards the 1st checkpoint. then there was the convergence of the lost (also known as the ‘where the fuck is the checkpoint?’ group) on the north diversion trail. the multiple choice checkpoints were cool…and they caused enough confusion to give some the advantage.
blah, blah, blah…. anyhow, i arrived at the finish to place 4th…and step into the controversy of rules. paul arrived first followed by matt, bob, and myself after the epic mlk uphill drag race. the problem was that paul didn’t meet the requirements of all the checkpoints. so even though he got there 1st, he was stripped of another glorious victory. hence, matt got the chrome winners jersey…bob got a pink lock…i got a lesser jersey…and vegetarian t.j. got a turkey(?).
i know. rules are made to be broken. but in a race where so few rules exist…
the dude must abide.
if you happen to survive the drunken, cat 1 fury known as the poker ride, and you’re awake enough to ride @ 1pm sunday…then join the duke city dirt dogs for some fixed single-track in the bosque.
meet at the unm duckpond, 1pm.
bring beverages, snacks, spare tubes, patch kits…and a bike.
you’re gonna wish you had a smoker to keep you warm this saturday night on the poker ride. with a forecast low of 26 for saturday night, you’ll be needing your long johns or pantyhose…whatever floats your bike. now i know that temp doesn’t come until 4am or so, but hell, that’s the time most of us left after the last poker ride. a girl scout won the devil’s night ride…so expect thin mints. and confusion.
hidden park 9-915pm
don’t say brrr. say beer.
…a choose your adventure style alleycat. not completely sure what that means, but i like the sound of it.
i like the adventure where i wrestle a turkey leg away from a homeless guy in a soup kitchen, eat it, then take the bone behind the old witches’ house and perform a santeria ritual for the win. what? not an option? damn.
check out the flash cards that were given to my son and his 1st grade class today. new mexico is a pretty chill place…with open minded, non-offensive people. so who the hell thinks it’s okay to put zit in a 6 year old’s vocabulary? he shouldn’t need to know that until he’s old enough to grow one.
…and keg? not ’til he’s old enough to get someone’s older brother to buy him one. it’s no wonder we ended up with a republican douchebag for a governor.
maybe you’ve heard? this sunday is the day of the dead parade in the south valley (http://muertosymarigolds.org/)…and we are the float. here’s what you need to know if you want to ride:
1) you need your bike
2) you need lots of candy to throw
3) the parade starts @ 4pm, not 415…but we’re supposed to be there around 3pm to get staged
4) the parade starts @ the bernalillo sheriff’s substation (isleta and centro familiar)
5) paint your face at home or use some of mine (i have plenty of white, black and red)
6) get faded in advance, since it’s probably not a good idea in front of the sheriff’s office
7) more candy (we ran out last year)
8) be prepared for post ride shenanigans
http://muertosymarigolds.org/ for more info. check the parade guidelines in their parade application link.
saturday night at the poker ride…. karl took us for a ride, tiffany unsuccessfully dismounted @ 25mph, a girlscout won the pot, we partied ’til near dawn, and everyone lived happily ever after…until the hangovers kicked in.
sunday. to the victors go the spoils. track or treat 2 was quick and fun. sam p. got 1st, stu got 2nd, orion and i placed 3rd…and everyone got to do the waggle dance. satan’s sabbath was excellent. 1st karl, 2nd paul, 3rd matts. mad love for the polkaesque race format.
thanks to everyone that rode and ran the weekends events.
now for next weekend….